Dear Malice,

This may seem like a pretty vanilla question to you, but I guess I'm just not that experienced sexually. I'm a straight guy and have been in several long-term monogamous relationships with women. The women I've been with haven't been very sexual and my track record average is having sex probably once a week. I recently started dating pretty much the girl of my dreams, and she loves to fuck. I mean really loves to fuck. I think in the 5 months we've been together I've had sex more times than with any of my previous girlfriends. That's totally cool with me of course, but a few weeks ago she brought home a strap-on and wants to fuck me with it. I am so nervous about it and I keep making excuses every time she wants to use it. I have to admit I'm curious but can't figure out what I'm so scared of. She's starting to get weird about it too. I don't want this to come between us. What should I do?

Nervous Butt Sex Novice

It's totally OK to not be into butt sex, I was very scared of it until I got older. I think you should try to figure out what your fear of butt sex stems from first... Past bad experience, fear of feces, fear of submission/being dominated by a woman, or something else. I had the fear of feces -- a really awesome gay boy told me to douche out my ass prior to having anal sex. I took his advice and damn I was missing out. I think it is important to talk to your partner all the time about sex. I explain to all my partners to play with my butt first and try to get a finger in, and if I push your hand away don't take it personal, it could just be that theres no room in there... But seriously male or female butt sex feels good when its done right!

Dear Malice,

I've been around the block and pride myself in knowing how to pleasure a woman. So in my ongoing research in how to be a better lover I was confused when watching lesbo porn at how the women literally smack their vaginas, targeting the clit. What is up with that? It seems like it would hurt and I can't see myself smacking pussies in the heat of the moment. So what's the deal? Is it just an unrealistic porn thing or another mysterious woman sex technique?

Smack Me I'm Confused

I watch tons of porn and have been having lesbian encounters since I was 7. I have fisted, fingered, and licked many women but never felt the urge to slap one's vagina. However, I have whacked a few vaginas with dildos and strap-ons, that's only because if I had a cock I would get off on slapping people with it especially in the face. I believe that it is possible some women want to have their vaginas slapped but in the videos i think its just an effect.

Dear Malice,

OK so I know that safe sex is no laughing matter, but what about safe sex between women? I recently found out my dyke friend regularly carries around latex gloves with her just in case she needs to finger a girl's pussy when she's out and about. I'm bi and I've had plenty of guys and girls finger my pussy in plenty of "out and about" situations and never a single latex glove showed itself. It just got me to thinking, what really is safe sex between women? When I eat pussy I want to taste it – otherwise what's the point?

Finger Lickin' Good

Tell me about it!!! When I first hook up with a chick it's latex gloves and no oral sex until after testing I am super safe. I mean I used to be a junkie and I would be devastated to have lived through all that without getting AIDS then to have unprotected sex and get it now. Or any STD for that matter. I don't have any healthcare plan so if I do get infected it's hell to have it dealt with... In reality though I really don't care that much for oral but I love fingers and fisting and I love the feel of latex and all that medical equipment...

Dear Malice,

So I'm catching a really good DJ at the Eagle, and I look across the the bar and see some bearded gay guy bury, I mean BURY, his face in a hairy old man's armpit. Now the Eagle is overflowing in gayness, porn movies playing and dicks flailing around like some Japanimation movie, I can handle that. But armpits? Hairy, sweaty armpits? I don't think I'm missing anything here but what kind of fetish is that?

Horny for Hairy Pits?

C'mon you think that anything is safe against fetishes anymore? There's a fetish for everything... I think it makes a lot of sense for men who love men to be really into the armpit, I mean that's where the sexy man smell comes from. I personally fucking lose my shit if somebody licks my armpit... it's funny because I could never lick anybody's armpit or my own... same with assholes. I love it when someone gives me a rim job but I've only licked one hole in my llife and it was only for one second. If you ask me armpits are way sexier than feet!